Poetry

This disease feasts

On the ones I love

And if it likes them,

Brings them up above

I've watched it destroy

So many lives

They think they won't die,

But there's no second tries

It took my mom

From age sixteen

It stole away

Her life, her dream

It took many friends

Changed them all

And made me watch

Their lives crumble and fall

I hate it

I hate it

Please make it stop

Please let it go away

Stop, STOP

Poetry

The house of my mind
Is cluttered at best
Everything piled up,
Giving no rest

I try to clean up
But it never works
My house is always trashed
By a bunch of mean jerks

Cleanliness
Is not obtainable
And the uncleanliness
Is not sustainable. 

Poetry

Tomorrow is dizzying
Something that doesn't exist 
Something in the future,
Something that may not even exist

It's not promised
It may never come
In fact, tomorrow
Will never be for some

Time is taken for granted
And spent so foolishly
Don't take life for granted
Live happily.

Poetry

My brain

Moves at an unthinkable rate

Am I sane or not

In my current state

Overthinking every detail

I'm waiting for the train

In my brain to derail

Don't think, don't think

Is what I've been told

But my dreams are silver,

And my thoughts are gold

I can't stop the process

That kills me inside

Perhaps I've lost it,

From that fact I can't hide

I don't know what happened

I don't know what's wrong

But I know enough

To know I'm far gone.

Poetry

Keep walking

Don't stop

Don't look back

Now quickly, drop

Hide away

Beneath lock and key

Kept in a cage

So no one can see

Hide behind muscles

And live in the veins

Travel through me,

And pour out when it rains

Emotions, emotions

Cannot be contained

And when they release

No one else can be blamed.

Poetry

Whatever is there

Please show that you care

Pollution rots air

And war isn't fair

People are dying

Children are crying

Friends are lying

God, I'm done trying

War and religion

War for religion

War caused by religion

War

Religion

Death.

Poetry

You don't know me

You never have

If you think you did

Your judgement is sad

Stare me down

Like I'm the clown

Smile painted on,

But beneath is a frown

I'm so bad,

Yes I'm the fake

Beating myself up

For your own sake

Leave me alone

Please go away

I'm forgetting

You today.

Poetry

Red rose

Blue violet

Blue sky

Dark twilight

Falling leaves

Brittle trees

Cold ground,

Gentle breeze.

Poetry

Breathe in
Slowly inhale
Leave me then
Broken and frail

Priceless moments
Come and go
Is it real?
I do not know

The memory
Has slipped away
The happiness
Has begun to fade

Stab me now
Leave me dead
Leave me hanging
By a bare thread

Oh well
I guess I should be glad
There was some happiness
To be had.

Poetry

Tear me open
Leave me scattered
Blood on the ground,
Clothing tattered

Left abandoned
Left alone
I have no place
To call my home

Who am I
An empty soul
I have no way
To pay my toll

I'm slowly dying
But who am I?
The conscience of youth
The youth who don't try

Intelligence sinking
There is no longer thinking
My mind is shrinking
You're watching and blinking

Goodbye.

Poetry

Could you stop,
Just look at me
Take a moment
And you might see

There's a softer side to me
There's so much more that I could be
But I myself am lost at sea
I stole a ship, in attempt to break free

But these chains have held
No rust has formed
Though the thunder rolled
And the sea stormed

Waves came crashing down
Making an attempt to drown

I drift ashore
Always wanting more
What am I here for?
Am I searching for a cure?

I lay in sand
Reach for your hand

But it's not there
I'm chasing air...

Poetry

Broken promises

And broken trust

Golden rings

Are left to rust

You broke her heart

You tore her down 

You turned her smile 

Into a frown 

You led her on

Said you were true

But you're just scum,

That's nothing new

Superheroes 

don't exist

They're just myths 

To bend and twist

Wrap her round

Your finger well

And carry her 

Slowly into hell

The minor warmth

Becomes a burn

But you've a lesson

Still to learn

Do not touch 

My second soul

Or I will leave you

With no control.

Poetry

One, two
Three, four
Tic, tac, toe

Play the game
Of life or death
Or have nothing to show

X's and O's
Scattered everywhere
What's even left anymore?

Lines through
Trios
The whole world is being washed ashore

X's or O's
No matter which you choose
Both sides of a battle
Either way, you're going to lose

Kind of like life
A never-ending game
But with one wrong move
Things will never be the same.

Poetry

There's something to be said
About energy
Both negative and positive...

You're negative...
Subtracting sunlight
And adding the rain

Take away smiles,
And give all the pain.

You're positive
Taking away rain
And adding light to the lives of others
It's no mystery
Why we're good for one another.

Poetry

So this is who you are
Your colors showing through
If this is how it's going to be,
I'm glad I'm rid of you

Always switching sides,
Treason; 10th degree
Never staying loyal,
Making us all unhappy

Back stabbed,
Shit talked,
Yet you're surprised
That out we walked

You expect us to miss you
You made us stressed
Without you here,
We all feel blessed

Next time think before you act
And maybe your friendships will stay intact.

Poetry

I'm slowly losing my mind

Searching for something I won't find

Questions running through my head 

People who think I should be dead

I don't know anymore

I don't know anymore

Memories fading in and out

Leave me questioning and in doubt

Lost in a web of long lost lies

No one hears my battle cries

Friend who I once thought were true

Have left me here for someone knew

A twisted puppet master pulling strings

Making drama of everything 

Cut the cords and set yourself free

But don't come running back to me.

Poetry

I find it odd
How in the fall; leaves die
But they die in such bright colors
Red, orange, yellow and brown
Much brighter than the green of their life

Perhaps we too are like that
Becoming most colorful before we die
A living our life stuck in one shade
Only realizing that variety is better
When it becomes too late to try.

Poetry

I don't want to apologize
Not this time; you need to realize

Not everything you say or do
Is always right or always true

Your perception is clouded
And I'm the one who is doubted

A downward spiral,
A love that's gone viral

Your head is spinning
And your demons are winning

You won't listen to reason
But won't think twice about treason

Discard those there for you,
For only he will do

Say one thing wrong,
You can't just go along

Take thought to the matter
Let those memories scatter

Shatter the vase; break the glass
Let your feelings burn to ash

And blow away in summer breeze...
For he is just your heart's disease.

Poetry

Smile so big
Fly so high
Feathered wings
Up in the sky

Golden halo
Flowing gown
No devil
Could take her down

But Lucifer came
And tempted Fate
Helped her make
A grand escape

Into an illusion
A twisted dream
That turned to a nightmare
And made her scream

No escape
Her halo shattered
He stole her wings
So nothing mattered

Feathers clipped
She couldn’t fly
She didn’t understand
Why he made her cry

She was enslaved
With no way out
But she stayed loyal to him
Without a doubt

When the gates
Of Hell did rise
She saw the light
She saw his lies

She put on her broken wings
Grabbed her halo
Everything
And then she turned and flew away
For she had made new wings from pain.

Poetry

Another year has come and passed
How does the time go by so fast?
I wish that I could make it last,
But I find myself running from the past

Bridges smoldering behind me
I fear I've left a wreck
I've taken the ones I care about
And tossed them off the deck

They struggle in the water
But I won't extend a hand
For I'm already swimming
To where I see the land.

Poetry

I'm tired and upset

My head is now a mess

Exploding emotions

And headaches from stress

A wreck of confusion

Leaves me lost in illusion

A horrible collision

Destroys all my vision

No kind of future

To cover the suture

So turn out the light

And I'll say good night.

Poetry

Sick of the tears

Sick of this lie

You are the cause 

Of the tears I cry

You ripped them away

But that's still not enough

You need to pester and prod

Because you think you're so tough

Please just go away

I've long since moved on

I've no need for you

And your sad, lonely song

Stop trying to intrude

And get into my life

I don't want anything to do with you

And your troublesome strife.

Poetry

Where is your other side?

The one you try to hide?

Where is your second self

That you keep hidden on a shelf

Where is your second half

The one you stow behind the mask

All the world's a stage

You cannot stay contained

We all play many parts

And break so many hearts

Without knowing what we say

Can make or break a world.

Poetry

All of me wishes

That you were still here

So I could still hug you

And hold you near.

All of me wishes

That your blue eyes could see

All that I do

To make you proud of me.

All of me wishes

That you'd somehow return

But I know it won't happen...

You're just ash in an urn

All of me wishes

That I could hear your voice

But it's gone forever like you

Because of poor choice.

All of me wishes

That you hadn't left

That two years ago

You hadn't greeted your death

But all of my wishes

And all of my prayers

Will never be answered

You can never be there.

Poem

The times that we remember
Are odd at best
But these will be taken with us
When we're laid to rest

The memories that clutter
Our heart and our mind
Are kept away neatly
Where no one can find

A mess just for us
A puzzle not solved
The pieces all missing
Never to be resolved.

Poetry

Headaches... 

rip me apart inside

and I can't really hide

from the stress inside my mind

Stress

growing stronger every day 

it comes inside to play

it always finds a way

I don't want it anymore

I want to shut the door

Close it off forevermore

I don't need the extra pain

I don't want the storms or rain

And I don't want to explain

Let the sunshine in

Let the light begin

And the happiness win.

Poetry

Calm, cool and collected
That's what I aspire to be
Not like some others who I know
Who don't think twice before they breathe

I hate to be a hot-head
To rush in before I think
For I know that all could be gone
In the moment that I blink

I don't want to pull the trigger
And bring down those I care for
Rude comments can never win..,
They aren't what I stand for

I hate to be rude...
But you're a disgrace
You bring others down
When they look at your face

You seep negativity
Lies and betrayal
But no matter what...
I will try and prevail.

Poetry

Drowning blue weave mystery

Deep dark brown tell lies

Hazel are meant to hurt you

And green can hypnotize

Red is flaming freedom

Brown is bound by pride 

Black is strong as ever

And blonde is dead inside

Pale ivory is sickly

Tanned is venomous

Red and burnt is tiring

And brown can be dangerous

Short and soft, but sad

Or tall and full of bite 

Bone thin anorexic,

Or heavyset with spite

All these things can make us

Along with so much  else

The outside can tell everything

Or perhaps can mask things better than the mind

It's all inside the person you choose

Thad what I've come to find.

Sunlight

The weather today
Seems to reflect my mind
Passing and fading
In clouded shades of gray

And every once
In a long while
There is a sliver of sunlight
And that
That is enough
To make the pain go away.

Poetry

It's slipping, it's slipping
Farther every day
Our friendship, our friendship
Is falling fast away

You won't reply,
You won't try
You won't call,
But you'll watch me fall

I don't matter
Why should you care?
I never mattered
When I was there

I tried to warn you
Tried to help
Now I'll watch you
Fall into hell

Don't you try 
Crawling back
I won't be here,
I stay on track

You jumped off the train
But I'm not stopping and waiting
You're so indecisive,
I won't waste time debating

Leaving you now,
Sit there in the dust
I hope you think twice
Next time you discard trust.

Poetry

Pumpkins sprouting up,
Leaves are falling down
Chills are in the air,
Fall has come around.

Orange, red and yellow
With brown splashes here and there
Crunching leaves in every step
With more carried by air

Costumes and face paint
Trick or treat all night
Some are cute and pretty,
While others are a fright

Chilled apple cider
And pies baking away
Just another reason
To love fall as it is today.

Poetry

Done with your words
And all the crap that you say
Because a month worth of feelings
For you lasts a day

You throw words around
Thinking they mean nothing
But what's nothing to you
To another could be something

I'm not saying hold back
Or don't speak your mind...
I just mean think before saying
So that you still can be kind.

Poetry

A month, a year
You think I care?
Ever leaving this prison
At all is rare

So I don't go out
I don't really mind
In the end all I do
Is stay inside

Take away social
You just took away hell
Now I can stay here
Locked inside my shell

Take away friends
But take away stress
Now maybe I can fix my brain...
It's sort of a mess.

Poetry

Oh my god
I just did it again
Had to be a witch
And lost a friend

I really feel sorry
But I know that I'm not
Our friendship decaying
Slowly falling to rot

It started with this
Our poor choices 
The relationships
That managed to silence our voices

Now I've removed you
Pushed you far, far away
Even though I honestly
Would rather you stay

But you have her now
My use has worn out
All I seem to be
Is the cause of your doubt

I won't deny 
That you mean a lot
But when I try to be in your life
I'm denied a spot

You can't take advice
You try to shove me too
Because apparently
What I say's never true

Even though many times
I've been oh so correct
You think my only purpose
Is to hurt and infect

Well I'm hurting alright
And I'm infected with you
Because I thought you'd be here
To turn my grey skies blue

But you run in fear
From the beast in my mind
Because you can't seem to handle

What you've managed to find.

Poetry

I don't want your petty words
The apologies that only burn
The regrets you don't deserve
When the hell will you ever learn?

I don't care if you messed up
That's your mistake
You now have to live with it
Just don't fall for someone fake

I wish what's best
This is a test
My mind's at rest
My thoughts, compressed

I don't need people
To survive on my own
You need to latch,
Can't be alone

Good luck in life
Good luck in all...
I hope someone catches you
Should you fall.

Poetry

There is happy,
Or there is sad
There is good,
Or there is bad.

I live in a world
Of black and white
No intermission
Between day and night

No color grey
To intervene
For me,
There is no in between

I can smile 
Or I can frown
Be so high
Or so put down

But never calm
No, never grey
This is my life
From day to day.

Poetry

Choose wisely
For you can't choose again
Will you discard me
Or keep me as your friend?

Don't leave me hanging
Holding on by just a thread
I'd rather drop on the rocks below
Than slowly watch our friendship go dead

I've tried and tried
But you won't reply
So when I leave,
Don't be the one to cry

A lack of effort
And communication
All this has become
Is a form of frustration

It's reached the point
Where I don't think you care
When I'm without you,
It's like walking on air

So goodbye, goodbye
Please walk away
So I'm not the one
With the guilt and the blame.

Poetry

How can we trust beauty

If it constantly lies?

How much will it take

For the world to realize?

When salt looks like sugar

But is the opposite of sweet

Can we expect pretty faces

To be the same kind of treat?

Makeup heals blemishes,

A smile hides the pain

But when a storm hits,

Do we dance in the rain?

When the lighting strikes down,

Do we choose to accept it?

Or do we run in fear,

Abuse and reject it

When something looks soft

But then starts to hurt

Do we leap away,

Abandon ship and desert?

Light the match

Catch the fuse

Explode into nothing

How can we refuse.

Poetry

I can see flames

They're burning us down

But I'm gonna stand here

Til we're ashes on the ground 

I can see the fire

Smoking in the distance

Still I'm gonna stick around

Put up my resistance

I won't accept the truth

Because I can see the best in you

But the fire pulls you in

Deeper and deeper into sin

Maybe I can't save you

Maybe I should jump out too

Maybe I was wrong

Maybe these feelings weren't true

But then why can't I escape the blaze

Lost in this craze

Your heart is a maze

And I'm stuck in a daze

You began to burn me

But I still stayed around

Because I needed to watch

All I once loved burn down.

Poetry

I don't care

If no one likes you 

Because they don't have to

I do

I don't care if they start rumors

They don't have to like you

I do

I don't care if they say you're bad

That we can't ever last

I like you, I truly do

I don't care about your past.

Poetry

For one quick moment

She turns away

And you can almost hear

What she's aching to say

But she keeps it inside

Just like everything else

Trying to deal with her hurt

All by herself

Because she wants to be brave

And she wants to be strong

But by hiding away

She has been all along.

Poetry

The Broken Faucet

Once you were new, 

Shiny without a flaw,

You had no problems,

No complications, 

Til the long years took their draw,

I tried to make you warm, 

But you just turned far colder,

The forcefulness within you,

Is now a simple dribble.

Poetry

I'm here
Don't think I walked away
I know your hope is drained
But I won't abandon you today

I took an oath
To be your friend
Stand through the storm
Until the end

Regardless of life
And it's rough unsteady course
I know that it'll carry me
Back to my starting source

The home of all my happiness
And memories come and gone
I've followed my mind for oh so long
But this time, I don't think my heart is wrong.

Poetry

no don't try
to tell me about my past
i forgot it for a reason
didn't want that shit to last

i dont want to
see the look on her face
the moments after
i was brought into the human race

i don't wanna hear her voice
or be reminded of her eyes
the only representation
is that of all the lies

the lies that formed my childhood
ripped away my youth
to go back to that hell
would be so uncouth

i erased it from my mind
i don't wanna rewind
i killed my past
maybe i move too fast

but ah well its gone
and it ain't coming back
i made sure of that
i'm gonna stay on track

Poetry

You had a chance

He gave you many

But you'd rather complain

And not take any

Well he gave me one

And now we're together

But NOW you put up a fuss

When it won't be forever

You feel so betrayed

You've been stabbed in the back

So now you tell lies

To turn his heart black

Luckily he saw through

Saw the bull you almost pulled

You're at the end of the road

But I'm just getting refueled

Stay out of my life

And keep out of my business

You had your chance...

But now you're just useless.

Poetry

Bare your teeth,

So pearly white

Let that false smile

Light up the night

Paint your lips

A deep blood red

So they won't look

So pale and dead

Force that curve

Right on your face

Tie your hair

With silk and lace

It doesn't matter

If you're cheerful

KEEP ON SMILING

Even though you're tearful

Put aside the pain for now

Don't you let those tears rain down

Smile! Smile! Until the end

They'll never know

It's all pretend.

Poetry

Don't say "what"
Let me break this down now
Cuz if you say "explain tomorrow"
Then I won't know how

You don't care that I exist
I feel our friendship is a lie
Because you say you want to help
But would leave me there to die

Just a pawn and you're the player
Use me up and throw me out
Like everybody else
You swore to God you cared about

Saying that you're so alone
When you don't know the meaning of the word
I honestly doubt you know abandonment
Or the betrayal of the world

You don't care that I have issues
Or that I've almost died
Cuz if I'm gone there are others
You can tear apart inside

You don't care about feelings
Or the ones I have for you
You just jump to conclusions
And think what you've heard is true

If a gun was to your head
I'd replace it with mine
But you wouldn't do the same
If you could walk away fine

Maybe I'm an idiot
Who crossed too many a sea
Trying to save someone
Who wouldn't jump a puddle for me.

Poetry

Starting as a seed
Carried and dropped along the way
The pine tree has no choice
In where it has to stay.

Slowly moving forward,
Kept back by the seasons
Yet it never loses life
For a multitude of reasons

Growing stronger,
Growing tall
Something big
From something small

Stories on bark
Told in the center
Only to be seen
When it's chopped down forever

Sometimes you can't see
What goes on beneath the skin
And chopping down walls
Is the way to within

But careful what walls
That you choose to rip away
Because if you rip up the roots
It'll no longer stay.

Poetry

Sometimes life gets me to wonder
What's the meaning for carrying on?
Is there a reason we all are here,
or is life just a never ending song?

I look around me and see the sun
The clouds, so fluffy and white
The trees that stand so tall,
And the stars that shine at night

So perhaps beauty is the meaning
But no, that couldn't be
Because if that were the case,
There wouldn't be so much bad to see

I laugh at funny jokes
And see the smile on my friends' face
And so I think that happiness
Is the meaning of the human race

But no, that can't be it...
For depression still exists
Standing in the pathway
To pure and utter bliss

So what is life's meaning?
There has to be one
We can't just live for nothing...
That wouldn't be fun

Nor would it be fair
There has to be a purpose
Some reason to keep breathing
Some reason to preserve us.

Poetry

Someday, someone will hug you
And I swear you'll be complete
It'll put you back together,
Pull you out of your retreat

They'll wrap themselves around you
As you look into their eyes
And that is all that it will take
For you to realize

That the thing that you'd been missing
As you roamed around the land
Was a hug you could hold on to
Or a hand that you could grab.

Poetry

Pressure me, 
Pressure me
I'm never enough,
You see

Make me work
Break my back
God forbid 
I ever slack

I don't meet
Your expectations
But yet I'm supposed
To create a generation

Not good enough
Not good enough
You say it's easy,
But it's tough

You do not see
Inside my mind
If you could,
What would you find?

Would it make you run away?
What more would be left to say?
Because you never got your way?
"You're just a child, no work, all play"

Do not tell me who to be
You do not see
What I can see
And I'm going to be me...

Please be silent,
Hear my plea.

Poetry

Why must you judge me

For my one mistake?

Claim to be my friend,

But turns out you're a fake

How do you know

Who I am behind the screen?

You've never met me

You don't know what I mean

I was wrongly influenced

I should have been stronger

Following this person,

I couldn't have been wronger

It wasn't my choice

I'm not that way

I open my mouth,

But have nothing to say

You should know this

If you know me so well

But you don't,

Because to you, nothing I tell

If you can talk behind my back

Then you aren't any good

You swear you would not

But I know you would.

Poetry

I fell for the demon
I fell for the charm she cast
I fell for a liar
Who could never understand my past

She broke me down
Til all was gone
I asked only for understanding
But she had none.

A crack in the vase
Slowly appearing
Breaking apart,
I'm finally done endearing

I let the vase fall
For I no longer care
It couldn't be fixed,
Love was no longer there

You've just come to burden me
To weigh me down deep
I told you everything,
But my secrets you won't keep

So I'm letting you go
Go on, fly away free
And please don't come crawling back
Crying to me.

Poetry

Break me
You lost me
Oopsy
Daisy

Try to get me back now
But I won't turn my back now
Too many stabs
And wounds were made

Off guard
Off guard
I fell hard
Onto the shard

That had shattered
From your heart
Compulsively beating too hard

For something that promised you nothing
You fell for you thought it was something
But now you came back... without the dumb ring

So glad you chose to rise up
Take back your glasses
Your voice,
And stand up

Not blinded
Not blinded
Anymore.

Poetry

RIP 
To who I used to be
Cover the grave
No more to see

No more sadness 
Or floods of tears
Tired of wasting 
Away my years

So close the casket
Lie me down
My other self
Won't make a sound

No more to say 
To those who hate
To those who hurt,
Judge and berate

Smile on my face
As I live again
I've just decided
You're a true friend.

Poetry

Hey, give me a break

Life's a little bit give and take

Trying to do my best

And move along with the rest

Overcome my mind

So I can see what I'll find

Smiling every day

Happy in each and every way

God I'm so glad

I made the change

Because prior to my realization

God my life was strange

Sad every day

Without a reason why

Depressed in my head

But no tears left to cry

Now it's joy everyday

I like it better this way

Wash away the rain

Wash away the pain.

Poetry

I think I've made you strong enough
To carry on alone
I hope so, because I need to leave
Another path is clearly shown

There was once a time
I thought I actually knew you
But baby, upset you once
And I could see right through you

Listen, listen
When people are mad
The truth comes out,
And the deception was sad

So I'm backing away slowly
To save my own mind
I wish you wouldn't....
Have acted so kind.

Poetry

Freeze, put your hands up
You've been finally caught
Hand in the cookie jar,
Not doing what you ought.

Or maybe you don't realize
Why I'm backing away
Well let's just say I saw you
For what you really were today.

Manipulative; that's all you are
You're chasing after a fallen star

It won't end well
When you collide
When truth and lies 
Coincide

Have fun with that
Go chase your dreams
Leave behind you
Echoing screams

From the games you play
With things you say
Cutting in ways
That hurt for days

Un-necessary fights
Punching out lights
Blinded sights 
And crying nights

No more.

Poetry

What is a poem
But a collection of thoughts
Arranged into a paragraph?

Sometimes I ask myself
Why I even write
But it gives me clarity
When I go to sleep at night

What is a poem
But a collections of hopes and dreams
Arranged into a paragraph?

And sometimes I think to myself
Why do you even try?
But I try because I love it
Though I'm not sure why

What is a poem
But sadness and tears
Arranged into a paragraph?

It helps to calm me
Make me happy
Take stress away
And allows me to see...

That's why I write
Poetry.

Poetry

Strong enough
To do anything
But not strong enough
To throw out this ring

Keep it by my side
Though it kills me inside
Would it damage my pride? 
What's there left to hide

I know there's no hope
That I'll wear it again
Yet I hold it tight to me
Like it's my dearest friend

I can't let go
And I don't know why
You were never the cause
Of the tears I would cry

Pain and destruction
Are part of the price
When trying to create
Something just as nice

But you blew everything up
Even the dust blew away
And I think I lost me
On that eventful day.

Poetry

Funny how
A day can change
I guess it's proof
That life is strange

Just a change
Of perspective
Change your mind
Be reflective

Notice how
One simple thought
Can make you see
Things as you ought

Smile, smile
The sun is shining
The day is bright
There shouldn't be whining

Cheer up,
You're here
You exist
The future is near

Older every second
But young at heart
Knowing this
Is a great way to start

Don't cease to smile
But it's ok to cry
Just don't let stupid things
Be the reason why.

Poetry

Mistakes, mistakes
Don't believe the devil's lie
That addiction is the cause
Of all the tears I cry

Poison, poison
Yes child, you won't remember
Your mind will become numb...
And all your thoughts, it will render

Forget, forget
You say that's all you truly need
But it will destroy you, and your denial
You know, yet still proceed

Don't... please don't
I've seen my angel fall...
You aren't quite at the cliff yet;
In fact, you're still clawing at the wall

Please don't try to drown yourself
In selfish, childish ways
You say that it will save you
But with death, there are no delays

Perhaps it will prolong your life
Keep you away from the glaring knife
But darling, life waits for no one
By doing this, you speed it up some

It's a precious gift
Don't toss it away
But then again
Who am I to say

Do what you want
I guess it's your choice
But don't try to silence me
It's my damned voice

I disagree
She was set free
I witnessed that
That's enough for me

Not again
I won't take it
Not again...
And please don't fake it

I think I'll leave
Because how you perceive
Is so far gone...
I think I was wrong.

Poetry

Everyone has a history

Everyone has a past

And you can try to forget

But people make it last

They never seem to stop

And think about how it may hurt

When your whole life has been hard

And your name is now dragged through the dirt

Yes, maybe he messed up

But right now it means nothing to me

He hasn't done anything wrong to show that

And he's my friend, or can't you see?

Relax why don't you

Take a chill pill and see things like I do

The reason you don't and the reason you won't

Is because he messed up with YOU.

Poetry

You're lost in your lies
Becoming what you despise
Time took its toll
And you sold your soul
Always hated fake girls
But now acting like them is your world
So hypocritical
Your thinking is so cynical
When being fake
Is also your mistake
What happened to you
I don't want to think your words are true
So different from who I used to know
Are these your true colors, starting to show?
I guess I didn't see you
For who you were.

Poetry

Why do I feel so different
So disconnected from you?
We used to be so close...
But now, I wonder if it was true

Now our bond seems broken
Like the strings that bound us snapped
And released us to independence
Where we quickly became trapped

Lost without each other
We must find a way back
To whatever it was we had
That kept us both on track

But I don't think that's possible
I think it's really gone
It's funny how it faded
When it used to be so strong.

Poetry

Lost in solitude
Searching for a friend
Sometimes she wishes
The nightmares would end

She stagger on through
Looking for dreams
Seeing that everything
Is not as it seems

Trusting no one
Fearful of lies
Yet she lives one
Masking the tears she cries

Daggers left deep wounds
When stabbed in her back
Infection crept in
And turned her heart black

She didn't know who 
Would leave or stay
And so she pushed
Them all away.

Poetry

Standing together,
United forever
Abandoned and alone
Together they found home

Misused and abused
Their minds are confused
But even in this confusion
They see through the illusion

Fake friends who lie
And cause the tears they cry
Boys who manipulate 
Is why one contemplates

They can't lose each other
Or find another
The connection is there
Past life's blinding glare

Searching for meaning
They feel like they're dreaming
No answers are found
On Earth's shallow ground

The pain that they feel
Both try to conceal
They smile through their tears
Throughout all of their years

But look into their eyes
You may be surprised
The sadness you find
Hides deep in their mind

But two broken souls
With little goals
May be the glue
They need to pull through

And two broken hearts
That need new starts
May beat again
Through a friend.

Poetry

You can't change memories
You can't change the past
But you can alter your future
And make happiness last

You're slowly growing up
And the years go by fast
You're breaking apart...
Please make happiness last

I know times get rough
And you sometimes feel blue
But please just remember
That happiness is true

Things will get better
Just wait and see
And as it heals you,
It will also heal me

Happiness can fix it
If we only try
Happiness is here, now
Please don't cry.

Poetry

Biting my tongue
Because I can't bare to talk
Sitting in corners
Because I don't want to walk

Shaking from fear
Hiding behind walls
Sitting alone
In bathroom stalls

Tears rolling down,
Mind shattered to bits
Inside of her mind
This little child sits

Not wanting to speak
Not wanting to interact
Simply for the sake
Of keeping her mental state intact

Anxiety taking over
Possessing her mind
Keeping her from the life
That she wants to find.

Poetry

You swore you'd be there

Swore our friendship was true

But I guess the word "always"

Means nothing to you

You watched our bond

Go up in flames

Because all I am to you

Is a series of games

Funny how your perspective changed

Just within one day

I think you'd best be careful

Next time, think before you say

Now everything's in ruins

Tears are running down my face

I tried and tried to hold on

I'm an image of disgrace

So go ahead and walk away

You know deep down that you should stay

But I'll watch you look the other way

Because in the end, I have no say

Nothing I do can change this

Nothing I say can change this.

Poetry

White walls, white tile
Little girl with a crazy smile
Names all locked up in a file
This transition takes awhile

Get used to the jacket
With buckles and locks
Get used to counting sheep
And watching clocks

The padded walls
And twice-locked doors
Will keep you here
Forevermore

Don't try to escape
Or run away
You're stuck here now
You have to stay

You have no choice
You're all strapped down
Now you live your life
In a hospital gown

Wrongful accusations fly
Condemned to be insane and die
No one even wants to try
And save you, yet you don't wonder why

Accept your fate
You won't survive
You'll never make it
Out alive.

Poetry

Why can't you tell me
Why can't you be true
Do you think that I'll leave
Or stop caring for you?

I'll bet that your temper
Was what got in your way
And you think if you tell me,
There'll be no more to say

But I don't abandon 
For reasons like that
I'll stick through it all
I'm not just some rat

So please open up to me
Let me inside
Show me where all
Of your demons hide

I'll fight them all for you
But you won't let me in
You'll find if you do,
That our fun can begin.

Poetry

We aren't the same

We never will be

You have different morals

And meanings than me

No we cannot agree

You won't stay out of my life

You don't like him,

So you cut him away with a knife

Scared to lose me

When I say you won't

You don't believe it

So you persist even when I say "don't"

Control me, control me

Like a puppet on strings

The master will find

That this bird has wings

Fly away

Far from here

You lost me now

Don't you see that dear?

It's never them

It's always you

Now look away

You know it's true

Poetry

The clouds in my mind

Have opened right up

Releasing the tears

That will fill my cup

The storm in my mind

Lets the thunder ring on

It pulses like a drum

To a depressing song

The lightning falls down

It smashes the ground

My mind is a wreck

It lies shattered around

I try to recoop

I try to survive

But the storm did its damage

And I'm barely alive

So I'll crawl my way back

To the place that I know

My wreck of a mind

That I like to call home.

Poetry

Paint on a mile
Hope for the best
Wear your mask,
Forget the rest

Keep it bottled
Hold it in
Stay behind
That painful grin

Ever present
But at night its fades
As she breaks into pieces
And closes her shades

Shuts out the world
And turns to her tears
She's young and yet
These are her toughest years

Overworked for no good reasons
Emotions changing like the seasons
Deep blue eyes that cry too often
And still your heart will not soften

What will it take
For the world to understand
That life is only
When you hold no one's hand.

Poetry

My tears fall down like rain from the sky
I sit in my room and I ask God why
Why did you take her? Why didn't she stay?
Why couldn't you make her sickness go away
Miracles are talked about every day
But none ever occur though I pray and I pray
Losing faith and slipping down the hole
I'm starting to wonder if I even have a soul
What's left of mine has faded all to black
Taken over by depression and I can't turn back
Running, running from the monster in my mind
Or am I just running from the answers that I can't seem to find?

Poetry

Fool yourself
Hide behind illusion
So you don't feel alone
Caught up in this confusion

Tell yourself you're ok
That everything will heal
But is this just one more excuse
To fool yourself into thinking you can feel?

Don't cloak yourself in lies
Don't try to hide from me
Because if you don't know yet
The truth is all that I can see

So please come clean
Don't make a mess
Don't lie to me,
It'll only cause stress

Stress is un-needed
Depressing and dumb
And at this point
I just want to have fun

So look up to the sky
Smile and be free
And don't ever again
Lie to me.

Poetry

I hope you taste the sarcasm
That bites through every sentence
So can you please, drop to your knees
And ask for your repentance?

What you did was hateful
Cruel, distasteful, mean
Yet when I snap back and hurt you
I'm the one who's obscene.

I won't stand around and take damage
Or let you shove me down
It's taken me long enough
To finally come around.

Now I'm done with all your crap
I won't take it anymore
All our fights ever can do
Is leave my mind feeling sore.

So goodbye
Walk away
I don't need
Stress today

If you've nothing to say
Then go, have a good day.

Poetry

I wonder what it's like
To not have any fear
To not ever be sad
To never shed a tear

I wonder what it's like
To not shake inside
To not be silent in public
To not have to hide

I wonder what it's like
To not check under the bed
To not be afraid of the things
That are inside of your head

I wonder what it's like
To talk without being scared
Of messing up your words
Or laughing with teeth bared

I wonder what it's like
But I may never know
Because I'm messed up inside
Though I try not to show.

Poetry

Wrote this last night but whatever it's still going up

My Friends
You talk about my friends
As if you know who they are
But do you know their pasts?
Or how badly they're scarred?

You talk about my friends
But what you say is wrong
Walk a mile in their shoes,
Then say they aren't strong

You talk about my friends
And say they're the same
Same hell, different demons
Different levels of pain

You talk about my friends
Degrade them in every way
But you really don't know
What they deal with each day

So please don't talk about my friends
You don't know them at all
But I'll let you know one thing:
I'll always catch them if they fall.

Poetry

How can something so small
Be a part of something so big
Like grains of sand to a beach,
Like a tree to a twig
Like a drop in the ocean
Like a cloud in the sky
Like a star in the universe
Like the reason why
Like a microscopic spec
That turns into a mountain
A strand of DNA
That represents a generation
A simple breath of air
That represents life
Every ounce of metal 
That goes into a knife
Every petal on a flower
Each thorn on a rose
Each road that is paved
To where nobody knows
A small piece of paper
With feelings wrote down
Is a whisper of emotion
Without any sound
Learn to enjoy
These small simple facts
They may save you suffering
And help you relax.

Poetry

My dreams can save me
My dreams can pull me away
From this horrible twisting reality
That is begging me to stay
The nightmare tries to pull me in
And show me all is wrong
I know that I'll be fine,
Just need to sing my happy song
Focus on the positive,
Get rid of all that's sad
Can't let it infect my mind,
For that would just be bad
Focus on the positive,
Be happy all your life
Block out all the negative,
Block out all the strife.

Poetry

So what
Will I never fit in
Yeah I'm not a girly girl,
Is that such a sin?
Yes I appreciate nature
And I don't mind getting dirty
I'm not really the type
That's gonna be real flirty
I don't believe in gossip,
Or that backstab crap
I'm here for my friends,
If they get caught in a trap
The trap being you,
With your snare for a tongue
Pull 'em in, lock 'em down,
Go down another rung.

poetry

You tell me that it's dangerous
That I need to let it go
But just because you're biased
Doesn't mean I am, you know
Perhaps there's something else here
That only I can see
And maybe you should chill out
And just let me be me
And if you're right then I'll admit
And you can say you're right
But until I see it for myself,
I'll walk with blinded sight
Don't try to force opinion,
It won't help anything
Relax, it's just a few days...
We're not bonded with a ring
You take this bull way too far
And so so seriously
Let me have a bit of fun...
Please just leave me be.

Poetry

Burning up in my own regrets

Thinking of all the things I should have said

Everything is clogging up,

And all my thoughts swim round n' round my head

Maybe if I clear my mind,

Or tell my brain to just unwind

Everything in my head,

Will go away

But is that what I want..?

Or is it what I think I need?

Do I want no memories,

Or is it just out of greed

Blocking out all negatives

Til' slowly, nothing's left

I can't see why there's a reason to try

If all these thoughts do is make me cry

Why not leave them far behind?

And remember

Only

The happy.

Poetry

So you think I'm gonna let you back in
Just because you say you're sorry and grin
Do you think I'm that stupid
To forgive you after what you did
You threw me away after all that I'd done
Left me there, the broken one
All my trust in you is trash,
You let our plane of friendship crash
Upon the shore of desolation
I was but a useful decoration
You were never there for me,
I was something you could come and see
I was the only one to hear
It didn't matter, far or near
But now I've learned to live without you
And I don't miss you... that's the truth.

Poetry

Let the stress pour out
Don't let emotions drag you down
Get rid of all the negatives
Don't cry, don't make a sound
Try to smile
Even if it's forced
If you're depressed,
It could be your last resort
Sometimes all we need
Is that last little push
To get us to laugh,
Just an amusing rush
Less muscles to smile
Than it takes to frown
Just remember this,
Should you ever get down
We all have a purpose
We all have will to live
We all are here on Earth,
Because we have something to give
Just never forget this,
I promise it's okay
You'll get out of this ditch
Somehow, some way.

Poetry

Let's run away together,
Get lost between the trees
Run around the world,
And cross the widest seas
We'll sail so far away
To our lonely retreat
An island in the ocean,
A room with a seat
The lock on the door,
Keeps everything in
Hidden from grace,
But protected from sin.

Poetry

We were once a large ship,

That held strong on stormy seas,

However, all that's left now

Is the wreck of what used to be

The wreckage floating gently,

As the waves bob up and down

Everything caught in a whirlpool,

Swirling gently round and round

Crashing hard on rocky beaches,

Sand flying everywhere

The wood is crashing, rotting deep,

All that is left is despair

No amount of storming

Can clear this beach of sadness

The more storms that hit the beach,

It deepens the descent into madness.

Poetry

Roses have thorns,
And sugar can kill
Everything can hurt you,
And even the nicest things will
Some animals poison you,
And the ones that don't bite
The world seems to be filled
With things that go bump in the night
The sunshine gives cancer,
And cool water makes you drown
All these beautiful things
Can drag you straight down
But why be depressing?
Why focus on this?
There's still beauty to be seen,
But too often it's missed
It all depends on perspective,
What's in your mind's eye
For lovely things can be seen
If you give it a try.

Poetry

The life source,
My roots have been upturned
The dirt is scattered everywhere,
I thought I would have learned
My stalks that stood so proud and tall,
Have all been chopped down
The leaves that once sung in the breeze
Now lay fallen, not making a sound
But I'm slowly re-growing,
My pain, I'm not showing,
And the wind may be blowing,
But this boat, I'll keep rowing
Til the vines have climbed high,
And they reach into the sky
Only then will I sigh,
And beg to question why
Would I bring back something that was dead.

Poetry

But what I don't miss is the fights that we had,

I miss the times before our whole friendship went bad

I miss the times

We would chat online for hours

And no one was in charge,

Yeah no one had powers

No relationships there to screw things up,

Just a group of three friends who all shared a bond of love

You weren't annoying and neither was he,

All we ever were was who we wanted to be 

We never ever fought a fight,

Gentle play, never a bite.

But that all came crashing, 

Our story did end

And you took her away with you,

My closest friend.

Poetry

Don't, push me off the edge
Don't drop me down the well
Don't leave me here alone,
I don't deserve this hell
It's odd when you first meet a person
How innocent they appear to be
But if you stay around and hang on for the ride,
The truth, you'll be sure to see
Soon the truth causes wreckage
The friendship sails a stormy sea
The boat gets rocked and men are lost,
And so is loyalty
Sabotage and blackmail,
Dagger wounds so deep in the back
Treachery, treachery!
Our memories fade to black.

Poetry

The grass grows tall,
Witnessing the constant death of flowers
Watching them fall in cold blood,
Knowing saving them is not in its powers
But the grass' worst fear
Is watching a flower not have the strength to live
Then slowly withering,
Because of a nutrient that the grass couldn't give
Because the grass cares for all
That grow in its dirt
And each time a root looses life,
The grass takes the hurt
Takes the blame and the pain,
Soaking up the feelings like rain
Knowing the land won't be the same
The roses are dying, it's such a shame.

Poetry

My dreams are always corrupt,
I always fall for the trap of the tornado
The natural disaster tearing through,
You'd think by now I'd know
That'd I'd see the warning signs,
Of a storm on the distant shore,
Riding the waves, closer, closer,
But what should I look for?
The storms now are hidden
By the clouds of the past
Fogging up memory,
Not letting me go fast
I want my dreamland back now,
I don't want it to get destroyed
But if I try to escape the twister,
All I get is annoyed
So back into my dreams I'll fall,
Ignoring nature's twisted call
Hoping that the stars won't fall,
Prolonging happiness, the ultimate stall.

Poetry

Breathe in,
Now look around
Hide in the darkness,
Don't make a sound
Try to forget
The memories of the past
Try to make
The hours together last
We never get to see each other
Which can sometimes be a pain
But no matter where we are,
Our friendship will remain.

Poetry

I can't believe you and your treacherous ways,
Saying I hate you when I stayed by your side for days,
Calling me stupid as you fall for the sinner,
As if ditching me will make you the winner
Of whatever sick and twisted game you play
Even now, I'll stand by your side each day
My kindness is a price I have to pay,
When I have nothing else left to say
My loyalty's undying,
My conscience never stops trying,
And it's my fault for staying,
Maybe even just for praying
That you would see the light,
And turn all your wrongs to right
Oh well, silly me
I doubt you'll ever see
How great that you can be
Without him.

Poetry

I have such a history,
And everyone says I'm strong
Well that's the act that I put on...
But you're all so very wrong
Inside is a caged bird,
Who never learned to fly
A tiny child who screams out loud,
Praying for the answer to "Why?!"
But the answers don't come,
So the tears just rain down
I stay in my cage,
The bars close and I drown
Beneath the water,
My body will rest
I have failed myself...
Because life is a test.

Poetry

The dust falls on the lies
That have been displayed on your shelf for too long
As I brush it off to look again,
At all the times I was wrong
Your lies,
His lies and her lies too
Shows me how easily
Someone can pretend to be true
Even your friends can turn
And show their true faces
Lure you inside,
So you think you're in their graces,
My life has turned into drama,
It's nothing else anymore
My relationships are wilting,
It's leaving me sore.

Poetry

Bitter and cold,
How many secrets do you hold?
How many things have you been told?
Can your silence be bought or sold?

Ferocious and wild,
A reckless spirit, nature's child,
The defining force is far too mild,
"It'll only get better," you said as you smiled

68 days,
And 68 nights
Too many wrongs,
But still many more rights.

Poetry

You say that you don't care,
You claim to be heartless,
It's a trait we don't share,
My emotions aren't a mess

You say you don't care about death,
But has it ever hit close to home?
Tell me that as you beg for your last breath,
And as you allow your thoughts to roam

Darling, you're not a robot,
Stop acting the part,
Take what you get and work with what you've got

Don't leave me here bruised from your bitterness, please
Is this what you wanted, me begging on my knees?

Poetry

Why won't you wake up?

Why can't you see..?
That he uses and abuses,

Which is why he hates me

He hates that I alert you

But why would I let you be blinded

If this "love" isn't true

This self-claimed affection

Has turned the wrong direction

It's course isn't safe,

It's in need of correction

This destructive emotion

Can't be cured with a potion

The scars can't be cooled

With any amount of lotion

So please wake up from the nightmare,

Stop seeing it as a dream

If you saw what I did,

You'd surely scream

We've all tried to help you,

But you shove us away

When he does go to leave you,

There'll be no one who'll stay

So please now, I beg you

Wake up and see

This isn't what you think...

It's what you pretend it to be.

Poetry

The staircase of life,

Growing longer each day

Every goal that you aim for 

Is one step away

The landings are bitter,

They don't encourage at all

You may go back a few steps,

But that's ok, just don't fall

Grab the railing,

Stumble, trip

Hold yourself up,

So your skin doesn't rip

But don't lose hope

You'll reach the top

Just keep on trying,

Never stop.

Poetry

No we're not the pretty ones

Not the popular ones who talk all day

But we all know that we're there for each other,

And that's the only thing that matters anyway

We've been stuck together for years,

We'd never let each other fall

Because if one of us does leave,

It sacrifices all

We have a sacred sisterhood,

A bond we share together

Something that we hold so close,

And hope it lasts forever

While time is sure to sting

And draw us all apart

Hopefully it never breaks us,

We're connected heart through heart.

Poetry

Cooped up inside,
Kept in my mind
Looking for a friend,
But loneliness is all I ever find
I try to live 
Laugh and find joy,
But what's the use?
All I do is annoy
If I have time off,
I never do anything
I just sit in front of screens
Hoping my phone will ring
But it never does,
Because who could care less
I hate my life at times,
I'm an emotional mess
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say
So I'll end this here
Because it's better this way.

Poetry

I can't sleep,
My mind is haunting me,
I can't close my eyes,
Because of memory
I'm an insomniac 

Can't get my brain to stop

Stop thinking of you so

I waste time staring at the clock

I can't sleep 

So I stay awake

I can't sleep,

So I think of my mistake

I let you go,

I cut you loose

Yea I was wrong,

But I felt I had to choose

So now I stay up

Yeah every night

Can't fall asleep and no,

I won't turn out my light

I can't sleep

I'll stay awake

I may be harsh, 

But hey at least I'm never fake.

Poetry

If I can make you laugh, I will
It lights up your face and in doing so, my heart
And sometimes I wish that I could bend fate,
And give you and I a fresh start
But at the same time,
We've bonded close
And over the rest,
It was me who you chose
You say everyone left,
While I chose to stay
But I can't lead people on,
That isn't my way
If I say that I'm here
Then I'm making it clear
That I won't go away,
I am here to stay
I won't shove you out,
Just don't leave me with doubts
I won't abandon without reason,
Just don't commit treason
I'll be here forever,
To hold you together.

Poetry

Call me your sister,

Lead me on

As soon as he stepped in,

I knew I was gone

Now you've changed and you're different,

Just not the same

And every problem you both have,

It's I who takes the blame

You came to me for answers,

But not brutal honesty

You don't like the truth now,

And so you turn it on me

You said that we're done

That you won't tell me any more

You think I really care..?

Your problems only made me sore

And the worst part about this

Is I blame myself

By introducing you to him,

I endangered your health

Then I tried to disrupt things

To save you from the fake

But you'll never believe me

Because I'm a gigantic mistake

So carry on with your life now

I hope you two last

Because all that I am now

Is a stain on your past.

Poetry

The Metaphor of Life

Life is so confusing

A puzzle that can never be solved

Looking back through the years

Look how far we've evolved

Life is just a maze,

Twisting and turning every which way

To navigate it is difficult,

But we all exit the maze someday

Life is just a book

A new chapter in the making each minute,

A word being placed with each word that we speak,

So why on earth would you want to dim it?

Life is just a game,

Where the players all dispute

The game is over far too quick,

Sometimes before there's chance to refute

Life is just a stage,

And we all play many parts

A different mask for everyone,

Collecting many hearts

In the end, life is life

A game that's not worth winning

We all are born to die...

Just an end with no beginning.

Poetry

Devil Boy

Little lying devil boy

With your horns made out of gold

Taking from the broken angel,

Well now I'll make sure that your story's told

And the story is a long one,

But in short, you're a gigantic prick

Plucked her feathers one by one,
You beat her til she was sick.

But I'll life the broken angel up,

Keep her from plummeting further,

I've nothing left to say to you,

You know you don't deserve her

She bent over backwards to make things right,

Stood through your darkness and tried to see light,

But you left her standing there alone in the night,

So now you can watch her spread her wings and take flight

You could never take blame for your actions,

Always used that pathetic pity card

Well lets see just how pitiful you can be,

Because watching her leave will be hard

Lies and manipulation,

Twisted and bent

Pack up your horns, lying little devil boy,

Before back to hell you are sent.

Poetry

Princess, princess

The castle is falling

The walls have come crashing,

The true end is calling

The prince was a traitor

Who understood none

An uncontrollable trigger

On an always loaded gun

The shots have been fired

And princess you're bleeding

The only thing keeping you going

Is the sadness you're feeding

The crown has been lost,

It lies cracked in the dirt

You abandoned it when

You discovered this hurt

Princess, princess

The castle just fell

Please let me try to save you

From this descent into hell.