Dreams

This post is inspired by a conversation my Dad and I had a few weeks ago about dreams. We were talking about the settings of our dreams- his usually take place in an urban setting, while mine are often set in shopping centers or similar indoor centers. We came up with the theory that dreams are based off of where we've spent a lot of time previously. My Dad was a messenger in New York when he was about my age, and he remembers fearing some of the streets. To a child, they are long, looming and filthy, and not pleasant at all. Meanwhile, I was taken out shopping a lot as a little girl and so most of my dreams are in malls or department stores.

Fun fact: I've never once in my whole life had a good dream. All my dreams are either scary, weird, or just plain confusing; not happy at all. They also all recurr OR take place in the same 4 settings. I almost always lucid dream, and upon waking up can recognize where I was in the dream and remember being there before in a different dream. Inside the dream, I can identify that I've been in that place before and actually know my way around the dream setting quite well. It's odd, but at the same time fun when you know where you are and have the free will to go wherever you want.

However, in each dream there are miniscule changes. Sometimes the change is small, like the outfit someone is wearing or the placement of an object. In others, the mood in the landscape in and of itself changes- a place that was once happy can go to being dark and scary in a matter of minutes. In a recent dream of mine, I was in a setting I knew well. I was walking around it, but then I noticed things were not normal because an area that had been well lit in my last dream was now darkened and cluttered, making it hard to manuever through. As I walked through the mess, I had the feeling I was being watched and chased- not a pleasant feeling when you can't move very fast.

What's the weirdest dream you've ever had?

Maddie

Poetry... but not by me.

While I love writing my own poetry, I also enjoy reading poetry from other people. Recently, I've been looking up twists on the "Roses are red, violets are blue"  poem. I found one that I really liked and since I've written a lot today, I wanted to just share this poem with you. I don't know who wrote it, and even though it's slightly depressing I still like it.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet,

And perhaps so are you.

But the roses have wilted,

The violets are dead,

The sugar bowl's empty,

And your wrists are stained red.

The sun isn't shining,

The sky isn't clear,

There's no silver lining 'cause you're no longer here.

Rain keeps on pouring,

There's no end in sight,

You're lying there frozen

So far from the light

Your beauty's unreal,

Your smile, the sun

But time can't be turned nor your actions undone.

The words that you wrote that only I read,

"I love you so much, please don't cry when I'm dead",

A bond that we formed, 

A love that ran deep,

A pain that we shared,

A friend I could keep,

I wanted to hold you

Wipe the tears from your eyes,

Been there the moment you said your goodbyes,

I want to forget but most times I don't

I want to let go,

But I know that I won't

Tears on my face,

Memories burned in my head,

The roses have wilted…

The violets are dead.

Poetry

Don't tell me you're my friend
If you won't stand by me in the end
Don't say that you'll be there
If it's a promise light as air
Don't act so innocent
Your fakeness, I've come to resent
Smiling for the show
A trick of yours I've come to know
Learning all their secrets well,
So when you need to, you can tell
Stab them in the back so hard,
That's your hidden playing card
But I have seen your evil way
Your little game, I will not play
I pass my turn, I give up my place
I choose to lose this awful race.

Write What You Think About

I always get told to write what I think about on any given day... but most of the time, I can't! For starters, my mind is ALLLL over the place so one thought breaks off into many thoughts jumbled together in a matter of seconds. I can't track all my thoughts, so they usually all dissapear into nothingness before I can keep them pinned down. I also have trouble KNOWING what I am thinking, if that makes any sense. I think so much and since (as I mentioned previously) I can't keep track of one thought in general to write about. If I DID write about exactly what was on my mind... this blog would be a mess because it would look something like this:

That hair tie looks pretty... I wonder what outfit I could wear with it I mean it has blue and pink and orange but they are so bright and they are baby colors and I really have notihng that goes with it besides like one pair of pants and THOSE pants sag anyway and I don't even have a shirt that goes with them besides ONE but that one shirt is a bit small and the back part with the lace shrank anyway and like what is up with lace shrinking everything lacy-ish always shrinks and then the threads get all sticky and stringy and then TADA shirt ruined....

^ And I REALLY don't think people would want to read THAT sort of stuff every day. No, just no. But that only took me a second to come up with... now think of having that going on all day but each thought going on forever, never shutting up and never stopping and carrying on about EVERY. LAST. THING. It's fun at times, but more often than not it's extremely annoying. So, PLEASE: do me a favor and don't ask me to write about what's on my mind. I don't want to- and I don't want to for a reason.

Maddie

Apologies

I am sorry for not blogging yesterday! The reason for it is because... I was actually setting up another blog! That's right... ANOTHER. However, the new blog is not my usual blog- it is a family blog with my Dad and my sister! Each day of the week, there are three new posts out; one from me, one from my dad, and one from my sister. The posts can be however long or short we like depending on the topic we are discussing, and we can write about anything we want. We don't all have to blog about the same thing- in fact, it's better that we don't! The blog is a school project, but also a memory collection of sorts. Over the years, it will show the variation in all of our thoughts and how we each think about life. At the same time, it gets me and my sister used to writing more on a daily basis.

The new blog is already set up- there is a photos/vlogs page, a contact page and the regular blog. We have already all done 2 days worth of blog posts (yesterday and today) and will continue our posting on Monday of next week. If you like reading this blog, I can guaruntee you that you will like the new one too. Don't worry, just because I have a new blog does not mean that this one will be neglected- there will be daily posts here too. However, if you ever find yourself wanting to read posts NOT on this blog, please do check out Mountain Rants... it is just starting off, so all the views we can get is better.

In the end, though... while a lot of views is nice, I prefer just getting my feelings out of me. That is what I use blogging for... I could care less about my pageviews. Yes, it is nice to know that I have people who genuinely enjoy my writing and read more of it- but in the end, these posts are just my thoughts from day to day... nothing more. I'm glad you enjoy this blog :)

New blog is: www.mountainrants.weebly.com

Maddie

Poetry

Secret

Got a secret,
And I trust you,
So I'll tell it to you,
Can't tell
Anyone else
Promise you'll stay true
Got a secret,
Please do keep it
I'm putting my faith in you
If you tell it
I'll be angry
And you may get hurt
But for now
You are safe
And that scenario is just the worst

iHeart Radio

A few days ago, my Dad had me install a radio app for him on his iPad. I installed iHeart radio, since it was the first one that came up in the search results, and then quickly set up some classic rock stations for him. I have always disregarded radio apps because... why bother? I have a regular radio, so why would I need an app taking up even more storage space on my iPod? Well, after seeing how the app operates, I think I AM going to download it the next time I can access my iPod because it actually works very well. You don't get any advertisements off of stations you create yourself, you can connect to ANY radio station that is featured by the app no matter where your location, and it's free.

You DO have to create an account to save stations, or you can use your facebook account. It does not post publicly without your permission and does not show up on your public profile. I recommend it to anyone who likes music- you can tell it what bands, songs and genres you like and it will give you an ecclectic mix of songs based off your choices and the style of music you seem to like. Both Dad and I are pleased with the app's performance (it also doesn't take much room up on your device AND it doesn't drain battery).

If you get the app, let me know how you like it in the comments!

Maddie

Poetry

The Process

Always messing up
Can never keep in line
Living in a world of mistakes
She's beginning to tire of trying
Trying to fake,
trying to pretend,
Trying to make everyone happy,
While all she gets is resentment
She's seen what can happen
When problems go unsolved
So when there is an argument,
she's the one who resolves
but still, she is blamed
for problems not her own
even thought everything is fixed,
no gratitude is shown
but it's ok, she doesn't mind
she's used to it by now
trampled on and never thanked,
much like a useless cow.

Poetry

Loneliness

My tears are black,
My eyes are red,
Become the demon in your head,
Lose yourself,
Just close your eyes
All thoughts of you, I've come to despise
I hate being misunderstood
By everyone around me
Maybe if they just looked up, then they would see
But everyone is oblivious
Yes, everyone is blind
So I will suffer alone, consoled only by my mind.

Don't Get Confused

I write a lot of poetry on this blog, if you haven't figured that out yet-but every time I write a new poem, my Dad goes, reads it and tries to decipher it. I just wanted to write this post as a disclaimer of sorts for my poetry- it is going to be VERY HARD for you to figure out my poetry because most of the time, I write it from my subconcious. When I write it, I don't know the meaning myself until I go back and re-read it a few days later. So when you don't see any meaning in a poem, it means it's likely filled with double references and inside meanings to ME, and more relating to my subconcious, not everyone's in general.

Poetry is my way of expressing myself and what I feel, and most of the time my poetry revolves around thoughts I've had in my head relevant to the time I write another poem. So, to anyone who tries to 'decode' my poetry like my Dad: please stop. You're fighting a losing battle, you really are- because not even I know what they mean, and I'm the person who wrote them!

Now, I have to go get coffee, so I will leave this post here.

Maddie

Poetry

Breeze

The night is calm and quiet,

No wind rippling through the trees,

No airplanes whirring overhead,

No chilly winter's breeze,

The stars are nowhere to be seen

The night is painted black

The lights are on, but no one's home

And there's no going back

The lights go out as you approach

You're stranded in the night,

Now you'd give all that you have,

If you could have some sight,

The floor falls from beneath you

As you wake up from your dream,

Your mind has been run through the mill,

It's bursting at the seams.

Poetry

Fake Love

Fake smile, pretty face,

All dressed up in white lace,

Waiting for a day that never comes

He promised his heart

But you knew from the start

that the promise was never true

Why you stayed is beyond me

Maybe you saw what I couldn't see

Long distance fails, yet you say love prevails

And that you are both meant to be

I see things crashing down soon

But there's no real way to say

That you are wrong, he'll break your heart, and even then you'll stay.

The Dissapointment in Hot Chocolate

Here in New Hampshire, the weather has been pretty bad. It has been snowing since last night, and today Grandma and I decided to go out and wipe off the cars for my dad so he can move the cars and plow. We went out along with my sister and my dog. Lucky gets... excited during the winter, and was full of energy. He almost knocked me over three times and came close to knocking my sister over, which resulted him getting a whack in the ribs with the broom I was using to clean off the car. Since I made the stupid mistake of not wearing gloves, I was freezing cold by the time both cars were clean and I was more than ready to go in.

I went in, changed into some comfy pj's and then went to make hot chocolate for all of us. Winter traditions, y'know? The only box we had was Swiss Miss, which isn't my favorite to begin with, but I was pretty desparate so I took out a pack for each of us and made it according to the directions on the box. The result? A cup of brown, flavorless water. I took a sip and then checked to see if I had forgotten to put mix in- but no, it was a murky color of a puddle after a rainstorm and tasted like water. I checked my sister's, to no avail. Finally, I took everyone's hot chocolate back and used a second pack in each cup. What a rip off. Sell tasteless hot chocolate so that everyone is forced to use twice the normal amount advertised and buy more. I THINK FREAKING NOT. I don't like the brand at all and would not recommend it to anyone- unless, you know, you LIKE warm puddle water after being out in the snow for an hour.

Maddie

Poetry

I know this is the third poem I've written, but this IS a blog for my thoughts and the easiest way for me to express my thoughts is through my poetry.

War

Take a breath and look around
At what the world's become,
A mess of needless fighting,
We're marching out with guns
Soiling ground for foolish reasons
And spilling fresh blood each day
For all the lives we've lost,
No money could repay
There's people losing families
It's such a waste of life,
so why do we continue,
If the pain is like a knife?

Poetry

Sweet Death

Roses are red
Or so they say
the rhymes begin to drift away
Violets are blue
depressed and withdrawn
Scattered across the dying lawn
Sugar is sweet
but kills each day
taking another's breath away
Just like you
Taking my breath 
slowly killing me

Poetry

Shout

The world spins fast,
Yet time stands still
When caught up in a dream
So clear to see
But when you reach
It floats just out of touch
Reality is dull,
But false hopes are just as bad
Stuck between the truth and lies
No one hears your distant cries
Echoing off the padded walls
Amid the tormented, wailing calls
Lock the door and burn the key
So in your eyes no one can see
The person you pretend to be

Super Bowl

As I'm sure most people know, the Super Bowl went off yesterday. I think I am the only one of my friends who A) wasn't watching it B) didn't know who was playing and C) didn't really care anyway. Literally all my friends were flipping out about the Super Bowl and the game, and half-time, and two of my friends actually posted statuses whining about NOT being able to watch it. I see no appeal to it at all, and I think that it's over-hyped every year no matter WHO is playing.

At the end of the day, football is a business. The players on your favorite teams are just doing work, earning millions of dollars to carry around a ball. And everyone cheers them on... for doing their work. Seriously. It's like cheering on the hot dog vendor outside the stadium before the game. "YOU GO, HOTDOG MAN- KEEP DOING YOUR JOB!" That's essentially what you are doing when you cheer on football teams- whether at the stadium or from behind a TV screen.

What is your opinion on the SuperBowl? Comment below... unless you are my Dad. I asked you yesterday, and I got the answer: "If I had a choice between doing nothing or watching the SuperBowl, I'd do nothing."

Maddie